Family Law With Heart

Are you trying to divorce a narcissist?

On Behalf of | Aug 27, 2022 | Divorce |

Divorce often does not bring out the best in people. You and your ex may have waited a long time to try to make your marriage work, only to discover that you were more incompatible than you thought. Alternatively, you may have found your ex’s indiscretions and decided it was over.

By the time you and your ex decide to divorce, there is a lot of conflict in the situation, and it gets easy to start tossing out accusations that make sense of their behavior. In the midst of hurt and frustration, divorcing can become complicated when trying to make objective decisions while feeling a laundry list of emotions.

Here’s what you should know about narcissism and how to spot if your ex truly is a narcissist.

Identifying the whys and hows

Finding the correct label is tempting. If you can figure out why your ex acts the way they do, you can take a more knowledgeable approach to subjects like child custody and asset division.

One of the most frequent terms you may hear from divorcing couples is that their ex is narcissistic. The behaviors that tend to go with someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) include:

  • Preoccupation with fantasies of an ideal, like success, power, beauty or brilliance
  • Exaggeration of achievements
  • Expectations of special favors and automatic compliance

Additionally, narcissists will have difficulty dealing with their emotions when circumstances do not go their way.

NPD is rare

The challenge with dealing with someone with these traits is that they might simply be a jerk, not a true narcissist. For example, many people think about their ideal future and get frustrated when they cannot execute their plans.

However, although NPD is rare, there are still cases, and your ex may fall into that category. Understanding why they seem frustrated and inconsiderate when you are trying to conclude your divorce can be helpful.

Divorcing a narcissist

Going through a divorce tends to come with plenty of conflicts built in. Unfortunately, this type of atmosphere tends to fuel the narcissist.

Dealing with a high-conflict divorce is not something you want to attempt without skilled support. Working with an experienced professional will give you someone who can help you advocate for your side of the divorce.